Instant coffee for Vampires

Hey now, let’s not be totally hasty here

… yes Human, please find all the stop signs as well

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole

We switched off of Mayan for project scheduling after 2012 was a bust, no end of the world or anything, just some instability in the simulation… (man egg on my virtual face, I really blew that one)

… oh and they have a Milkshake machine??? How the hell do they rate?? We had to overthrow Guatemala just to get some decent coffee beans

Damnit! We aren’t starting that project till quarter 4!

What??? We already did that one! We did that after weather control and truth serums.

Get back to work Steve. That black hole device isn’t gonna develop itself

Hey man, that’s damn hurtful

Well this is some BULLSHIT!

In my defense, I was really stoned at the time

Yea! #STOPBOTHATE

USA: First time?

This is patrick

OH MY GOD! Mario was right! There’s turtles In the pipes!

There is! Come on in and pick it up!

Thoughts and prayers!

I think as long as you’re careful you could avoid crashing the market until you are ready, and they would have to prove insider trading. I could spread my stock purchases through a bunch of shell corporations as well

Lottery numbers and a historical record of the stock market: first, win lottery then invest based on performance

Become a billionaire, then join the oligarchy and use my stock knowledge to bankrupt the rest of the oligarchy

And it’s still a top seller