Breaking News! Earth has shutdown, but not for the reason you think.
Earlier this morning mother nature announced that she was shutting Earth down. “It’s just become too much of a strain on my mental health.” Mother earth went on to explain. “It was hard enough dealing with the pollution, and destruction of nature at large, but after this I just decided it wasn’t worth maintaining.”
This stunning news comes just hours after the conclusion of a Class Action Lawsuit from humanity against Mother nature claiming abuse, after a wealthy white lady, Karen Pearlsblood had to drive past a homeless man daily. “It was disgusting, he was sitting their, smelly and gross. Why doesn’t he just get a home?” Karen went on to complain, and making various spelling errors throughout our verbal conversation.
Karen’s complaint brought out the community at large, and a Class Action Lawsuit was formed. One of the main faces of the movement, Kyle idonthavealastname, spoke about his experience. “I was just enjoying a nice walk in the park, when suddenly I saw two rabbits just… going at it! Unprotected!” Kyle has been consistently against public indecency throughout the lawsuit. “What if my hypothetical children had seen that? I know I don’t have kids, but imagine if I did, and if they had seen that!?” Kyle began to shout expletives about furries and how mother nature works for the CIA.
Following the shutdown, Earth will have everything stripped from it to sell. Early bidders have already announced their Intentions with the property. The martians want to make a new mining colony. The former class action lawsuit lawyers plan to purchase the planet to make a more family friendly earth. Karen once again weighs in on her position. “We can do some real good, make a nice christian earth, where kids can be kids, and there will be none of that ‘homeless people’ nonsense.” At risk of sounding almost like a good idea, Kyle interjected to bring us all back to task. “And no furries! None of those disgusting, smelly, hyper-” We managed to cut the microphone just in time to avoid getting sued by the remaining doctors and NASA scientists.
Breaking News! Earth has shutdown, but not for the reason you think.
Earlier this morning mother nature announced that she was shutting Earth down. “It’s just become too much of a strain on my mental health.” Mother earth went on to explain. “It was hard enough dealing with the pollution, and destruction of nature at large, but after this I just decided it wasn’t worth maintaining.”
This stunning news comes just hours after the conclusion of a Class Action Lawsuit from humanity against Mother nature claiming abuse, after a wealthy white lady, Karen Pearlsblood had to drive past a homeless man daily. “It was disgusting, he was sitting their, smelly and gross. Why doesn’t he just get a home?” Karen went on to complain, and making various spelling errors throughout our verbal conversation.
Karen’s complaint brought out the community at large, and a Class Action Lawsuit was formed. One of the main faces of the movement, Kyle idonthavealastname, spoke about his experience. “I was just enjoying a nice walk in the park, when suddenly I saw two rabbits just… going at it! Unprotected!” Kyle has been consistently against public indecency throughout the lawsuit. “What if my hypothetical children had seen that? I know I don’t have kids, but imagine if I did, and if they had seen that!?” Kyle began to shout expletives about furries and how mother nature works for the CIA.
Following the shutdown, Earth will have everything stripped from it to sell. Early bidders have already announced their Intentions with the property. The martians want to make a new mining colony. The former class action lawsuit lawyers plan to purchase the planet to make a more family friendly earth. Karen once again weighs in on her position. “We can do some real good, make a nice christian earth, where kids can be kids, and there will be none of that ‘homeless people’ nonsense.” At risk of sounding almost like a good idea, Kyle interjected to bring us all back to task. “And no furries! None of those disgusting, smelly, hyper-” We managed to cut the microphone just in time to avoid getting sued by the remaining doctors and NASA scientists.